Listen more. Question less.

I've been taking our Christmas decorations down today.   Ellie hasn't been playing with the nativity much, so every time I've walked past it today I've considered boxing it up until next year. 

I argue with myself constantly about every decision I make when it comes to that child... 

 

Including the decision I made to leave the nativity out.  

 

"What if she can't separate the idea of a Jesus in Heaven and the one on the table?  What if it confuses her that He's a baby but the One we talk about does adult things?  Will this lead to her praying to the plastic Jesus like an idol? Or will it help? Will she be BFFs with Jesus and play with Him every day?  Will she develop a closer relationship with Him at an early age because she can actually see and hold Him?  Will she 'get it'?  Blah blah blah."  Parenting paranoia prevails.

 

The way I am in constant controversy with myself over parenting decisions I've made with this child, I'm surprised I've made it two years without having to be on medication.  
It's ridiculous.  

 

Anyway...
Ellie hasn't spent much time with the nativity lately.  

At least not that I've noticed.  

 

We still pray.  
Every. Day.  
Without ceasing.  
We read Bible stories.  
We sing Jesus songs.
We do Jesus stuff.
This nativity thing sure takes up a lot of space on the table.
And people are gonna talk when they see it out still in June...

 

OK.   That's it.  It's going up.

 

But by this time it was nap time.  

 

Good.  

This will be much easier once she's asleep.

 

“Alright Ellie, it's time to take a nap."

 

Ellie ran.   Like lightening.

 

(Typical) 

 

Straight to the nativity. 

 

(Wait... What?)

 

She climbed up the chair, onto the table,  and pulled Jesus to her.  

 

"Night night, Jesus.“ 

She grabbed Him up along with His manger,  carried them both to her crib, and tossed them in.  Precious! 

I grinned, but didn't think much about it.

 

She was ready for nap time with Jesus. 

I picked her up and started to sing to her.

 

"No,  mama!" 

 

"What?" I put her down. 

 

She pulled Jesus out of the crib and ran again. 

 

Back to the nativity.

She picked up the angel.

 

"What's that?" she asked.

 

"An angel."

 

Immediately she set the angel down next to Jesus.
In front of Joseph. 
In front of Mary. 
As close to Jesus as she could put her.

 

"Here Jesus.  Night night."

She patted Him on the back, climbed down, and ran back to her crib.
Ready for nap time.

 

I thought a lot about that.  
I actually almost cried.  

 

When I put Ellie to bed I usually tell her she should go to sleep so she can talk to the angels. 

 

She's never responded. 

I didnt know she was listening, and I definitely didn't think she'd understand. 

 

Guess she showed me.  

And so did God. 

 

He worked through her to talk to me. 

 

I needed it.

 

The nativity is staying out. 
She gets it. 

She gets angels. 
She gets Jesus.  She gets God.  She's two.  
And she gets it.

 

Time to stop questioning myself so much. 

I'm not doing everything right, but somebody's doing something right. 

 

Point taken, God.  

There's plenty of room on our table for You.  

Thanks for shutting me up. 

I needed that today.

 

 

I know, I know. 

She's got her back to Jesus. 

But she's close enough that she can hear Him.

Besides...

 Maybe she's looking over Mama instead of Jesus because she needs it more ;)